Ok. I know this is supposed to be a movie blog, so starting this off with a rant about a Broadway play is probably not a good idea. But I have to get this off my chest.
You heard about that Spider-Man Broadway play right? Of course you have. We all know the story about how long it was taking to make the damn thing, heard the jokes about how many stuntmen would eat concrete before it would finally come out, and read the really bad reviews it got from critics who saw an earlier version of the damn thing. Well, it's finally out and playing on Broadway. So after spending over $65 million making it, is it worth all the hype and news it got?
Come on, what do you think? Seriously, do you really think it's worth the price of admission?
I got to see some bits of the show. I heard some of the music. And frankly, I'm not bothering to see it. I'm a Spider-man comic book fan, and I'm not bothering to see it. Granted, I don't live in NYC anymore, so this is a moot point, but still, It's just not worth it. Well, maybe it is, but only if you are really interested in seeing what happens when you waste millions of dollars and try to put together a show by piecing together the hodge podge of different directing ideas and songs from U2. I can save you the money right now though: what you get is madness.
I'm not saying that this show doesn't have it's moments. There are some scenes where it shows that they really were having fun trying to be as campy as possible. But there are other scenes that... well, just fall flat. And then there are others that are just plain laughable, like the guy with the inflating Lizard costume. Or the baby catching moment. Or the Swiss Miss.
I could go on, describing some of the more zany things about this show, or about how a couple of the songs U2 made were just their old ones with the lyrics changed around, but really, that's not the main thing that's on my mind. Rather, it's the fact that they pushed this damn thing out.
$65 million. That's how much this damn thing cost. As far as I know, it's the most expensive Broadway play ever made. That is NOT a point in it's favor. In case it hasn't occurred to you yet, this isn't money that you can just pull out of your ass. That's money that needs to be paid back. That money that the final product is going to have to make back up... and then some. This Franken-play has some major bills to pay.
Now factor in how much a Broadway play ticket costs.
If the yahoo's who put this thing together want to see any real returns, this play is going to have to have some sold out nights. A whole lot of sold out nights. In fact, they're going to need sold out nights EVERY NIGHT. For the NEXT TEN YEARS. And that's just to BREAK EVEN. We're not even talking about making a profit. Just to break even, this thing is going to have to have phenomenal nights for ten years straight.
Talk about giving yourself a challenge.
Doesn't this scream bad business sense? Shouldn't there come a point where after you notice you're spending so much money on something that just isn't working, that you should just give up? I know we tend to admire people who no matter what the odds just keep swinging away, the naysayers be damned... but there comes a time when such persistence ceases to be courageous, and just becomes stupid. If I was producing something, and I was late told that the amount of effort and resources I was putting into it was so great that it would take a ridiculous amount of time, not to mention a great deal of luck, to make it all worth it, I'd abandon ship and come up wioth something else that not only would be cheaper to produce, but would have a better chance to make up all the money I lost, and then some.
The guys who made this play definitely must have had a whole lot of dedication. Think about if they had put that dedication where it deserved... into a play that was actually worth their time and effort. I'm willing to bet that if they decided earlier on to just cut their losses, and produce a cheaper play with much better direction, music, and singing, AND put all that dedication and effort into it as they did with this current play, they could have made up all $65 million and then some. I honestly believe this.
Not everyone who abandons ship is a coward. Sometimes, the ship is just sunk, and it's just better to take off and live so that you can build a much better boat to take you where you're going.
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